fools rush in

Calmness is constructive of good. Agitation is destructive of good. I will not rush into action. I will first "be still and know that He is God." Then I will act only as God directs me through my conscience. Only trust, perfect trust in God can keep me calm when all around me are agitated. Calmness is trust in action. I will seek all things which can help me cultivate calmness. To attain material things, the world learns to attain speed. To attain spiritual things, I have to learn to attain a state of calm.from..Twenty-Four Hours a Day (quote given by Nan.....just in time)

I suppose this beautiful quote is another way of saying 'fools rush in'. It is Friday morning and I am supposed to be at the hospital with Adam. Because there was no bed available Adam was 'allowed' to go home and wait for a bed this morning. I think we will back at the Cancer Center around 11am. Waiting around at home is infinitely better than waiting around at Childrens Hospital.

Adam is feeling ok physically but you can tell that his anxiety is rising as we await this third inpatient chemo visit. When I was running this morning, trying to focus on my breathing, I kept begging God, please make this a one night-er. Please please please. Amen. Breathe breathe.

Martha's sister Mary is up here helping us. Last time my mom and dad helped out. Having that kind of family support is really terrific. Mary accompanied Martha and Adam as they waited yesterday to be admitted. She told me last night how amazed she was that we can deal with all the delay and lack of communication as we wait for a bed to open up on top of dealing with everything else. Martha had said earlier that she can't remember how she felt when we first got the news about Adam. I do but I know what she means. That feeling of shock, helplessness, anger and denial seems like a long long time ago. Now we just deal with it, with a lot of help from others. Not because we are extraordinary people but because there is no alternative. We are incredibly fortunate that we have family, friends and jobs with benefits. But we are just regular folks...no better and no worse. This week's horrible events in Burma and China really underscore that regular folks deal with catastrophe all the time; what else can they do. Mary and I argued a little about this. She insisting that she couldn't do it. Well, she could, probably has, and probably will. We all have to deal with something sooner or later.

Work has been sort of tough but I still love what I do and am fortunate to be able to say that. Folks like Susan, Mike, Shuwanna, Shelia, Jadrian, Nan and Kay (only to name a few) make the rough parts bearable but mostly it's is good work with a capital G. Without going into boring detail I can say that he last couple of weeks have been hard. Taking a step back I think this has to do with the economy tanking and the fact that I have chosen to work in a tough field. So I won't complain. I am thankful for what I am able to do. I appreciate it when I fail or make a mistake and am able to take action(when I am able to reflect). I need to learn to not over react or over respond to 'bad news'. This happened yesterday and luckily Nan was there to see it and give some great advice summed up in the quote above. Thank you Nan.