E + R = O

The third chemo treatment is tomorrow. Adam is feeling better, I think, but is feeling a little down and bored. I think he misses school though he may not readily admit that. His school mates, and teachers, continue to give him many signs of support. The cards pour in and one of his class mates sent him a license plate from Louisiana. Many of the cards the home bound teacher brought him today had a SUPERMAN theme. I will post a couple as soon as Martha scans them at work. (Meigs is the best--thank you Ms. Dooley and Garman)

Shortly after I got home today and went out for a run, Adam's friend JP showed up. Which was super for Adam because I had just gotten on to him about getting the home bound 'home work' done. I had no problem loosening up for Adam to spend time with a good buddy. They are still out right now. It is a beautiful late afternoon!

Yesterday our friend Mel, who over the years has helped make our house livable (contractor extraordinaire), came to visit. Martha had asked him to look at our not yet completed new 'mud room'. He is going to help us install cabinets and tile. Mel and his wife Pam are really good people. Mel's oldest son Todd died of cancer in the 70s. Todd was diagnosed with Leukemia at age 6. The Leukemia was basically cured but Todd died of another type of cancer caused by the radiation therapy at age 18.

Mel had told us about Todd before but now of course hearing about his experience has a different feel. Mel had cautioned Martha a few weeks ago that some folks just wouldn't know how to handle the news that Adam had been diagnosed with cancer. This has been true to some extent but I think we have truly benefited from advances made not only in the science of cancer treatment but also the understanding of how to work with patients and families by the doctors, nurses, social workers and people in general. The Childrens Cancer Center has been very good about attending to our social and spiritual needs. They have created and gathered resources that Mel and his family just did not have. Mel told me that he and other parents started a group called "Parents for Heroes". They worked with kids with cancer, their siblings and their families. They even had Santa Claus come to visit not only the patients but their brothers and sisters. Santa would already know all the kids by name. Wow! This was before the Internet when information about cancer diagnoses and treatment options was hard to come by. Mel helped build a cancer resource library. We are the beneficiaries of parents like Mel. I know Mel is reading this blog........Thank You Mel!

I helped to interview a possible new director at work today. His name is Mark. Mark and I are acquaintances and have a mutual good friend. He had already called me to ask about Adam and if there was any thing he could do. (Again we have gained from Mel's experience.) During the interview today Mark explained a formula he uses in management: E+R=O. E is for 'Event', which is neutral and can not be controlled; R is for 'Response' which is what we do in response to the event; and O is for 'Outcome'. Mark was talking about his management style; I wondered if he also was trying to communicate directly to me about how to view Adam's cancer. The E is Adam's cancer. It is what it is. No one's fault. God didn't do it. I have no interest in being angry or mad about it. R is what we do about it. This includes everything. All the positive thoughts and prayers as you are reading this, the work of the doctors, nurses, social workers and other hospital staff, Adam's school mates sending homemade cards, emails and responses to this blog, tears, memories, favors like Jody baking use delicious bread or Regine letting (practically ordering us) to use her washer drier, Vivian inviting Martha to go see a play tonight.....you get the drift. It's the R in the equation that matters. I hope and pray for a good O....but we have no control over the O, only influence. I am very confident that there will be a positive Outcome but the only thing I can control is my response.

Peace.