buzz cuts

Adam was at the same meeting that Martha and I were when we got the news about his diagnosis. He heard, but clearly it didn't register. A few days ago I spoke with Adam about why folks were sending him gifts, words of encouragement and putting him on prayer lists. He began to understand and cried a little but didn't ask any questions.

Today he called me from the bus on his way home from school. He asked when he was going back to the hospital and when he would be getting surgery again. I told him and he said "ok, thanks dad" and hung up.

When he and Martha were hanging out after school he began to ask more questions; what is going to happen, will it hurt, what is a central line, what will the side effects be? Adam is dealing with this in his own way. I can only guess how I would have handled this at this age and I can honestly say it wouldn't have been pretty. Martha and I have often remarked over the years how Adam's personality is so different than ours. Adam is a Cub scout and has to sell pop corn every year. He goes door to door talking folks out of their money for what is basically only slightly above average microwave popcorn. He does that willingly and even seems to enjoy it. It's a small thing but to me it indicates Adam's courage. I can barely even watch him selling out of my own fear of rejection and embarrassment. Adam has none of that. He just gets on with it.

Well he is just getting on with it now. Adam wants to get his hair cut short so that when he begins to lose it, it won't be as dramatic. My hair is already short but I will get it even shorter with him tomorrow. Buzz cuts for both of us.

He goes to school tomorrow for the last time this year. I had to get on to him only a little to finish a science project that is due. He is home bound for the rest of the school season.