party at our house

Only two more radiation sessions left. This is good because radiation really seems to have a fatiguing effect on Adam. He gets tired very quickly in the day. His staying up reading late into the night might also have something to do with it.....but what am I supposed to do, tell my son not to read? He just finished the last Harry Potter book and he stayed up two nights ago to finish a book called Charlie Bone (I think). His mood has been ok and he has been nicer to the little kids down the street but you can tell that his energy is just not there.

His head has more fuzz on it but his left eye brow and lashes are gone. The skin around his left eye is red, like sun burn. He claims his eye really isn't bothering him but the eye doctor put him on drops anyway. He has been very good about allowing us to administer the milky white eye drops without a fuss.

At work we had a 5 year old die in the ER. A few weeks ago the ER staff saved a one year old after he had been clinically dead. He had fallen down a well head first. They performed CPR on both kids for over an hour and a half. ER folks are tough, but not that tough. Some of our staff have been asked to provide some trauma debriefing for the ER workers. All this made me think of Adam of course. And how fortunate we are. Our boy is safe. Tired, bald, damned sick of chemo and some times lonely, but safe. One of the folks so affected by the recent child deaths was the Chief Nursing Officer at Skyline. After we talked about taking care of her staff she pulled me aside to ask if it was ok to ask about Adam. She told me that many folks have felt it may not be 'appropriate' to ask. I was surprised. First of all, I felt as if so many people at work have asked and been so supportive and secondly, I really have no sensitivity about being asked. I like talking about Adam and his recovery. I guess it may have been different if things weren't going as well as they are so I can understand the trepidation folks may feel now that I think about it. I told the CNO about Adam's progress and our excitement that we are in the home stretch of treatment. The CNO is a tough lady but you can tell that kids, especially sick kids, get to her. She had already been crying about what happened in the ER and started tearing up again as we discussed Adam. We finished talking and I told her how much I appreciated her asking and please feel free to ask again.

We have 8 more state plates to go. Starke and Anne, my uncle and aunt, sent Adam a Kansas plate and a book about 'Cool Stuff' that Adam has already checked out thoroughly. The plate wall is more than a wall of state license plates. In the end, who cares about state license plates. The wall represent love pure and simple. I hope that one day Adam will look at the plates and have a realization about what it meant for people to send these to him. Folks who know him, love him and folks who haven't even met him have sent these plates in. Some have scoured yard sales, attacks, garages; some have given plates that clearly had some meaning for their own family history. Each plate has its own story. We've tried to keep up. Martha has written the details on the back of each plate in black permanent marker.

I wrote at the beginning of all this that I would have a huge debt of gratitude to pay out. Now that we approach what I think (hope and pray) will be the successful end of Adam's treatment I need to think about how I can repay or pay forward what we have received. I would say "Party at Our house and you are all invited" but what about all the folks from Alaska to Texas to Main to the Philippines to Taiwan who have shown such great support?