Ok

So Adam and Camille are off on their flight to New Orleans. Camille walked right onto the plane with her big brother. No problems. I am not sure she would have done it on her own but there was no way she was going to let her brother show her up. I think Adam is looking forward to spending time with his cousins, especially Sam, Olivia and Peter. We've always joked that Adam has no problem leaving us to stay with others and we've never denied that we love foisting our children on others.....thank you Mary and Ben, Fred and Dee.

Adam got back from his weekend canoe trip with the scouts yesterday. A little tired but apparently none worse for wear. He had a good time. He had his chemo today and I think that makes 5 more to go. And here we go.

Adam starts back to school in just two weeks. And so does Camille. She will be entering kindergarten and may be taking the bus to school.

Adam's hair is growing back but his left eye is naked and may be for some time.

If you happen to be in the Mobile, Fairhope, Dauphin Island area at Labor Day please know that if you have been praying for, supporting, wishing good wishes, meditating, sending good vibes or plates to/for Adam you are invited to a Thank You Thank You Thank You party.

We are approaching the end of the beginning. Adam will continue to have frequent visits to the Childrens Hospital Cancer clinic, he will have to worry about side effects for the rest of his life, he may never be able to get decent insurance. But the end to this chapter is in sight. What does it mean? This thought enters my head daily. And daily I have a knew question. I believe in God. But I have no idea what God's plan is or if Adam figures into that. If you asked me right now I would say that there is no meaning in Adam's cancer. None, zip. People say that there are no coincidences or that there is a reason for all that happens. I am not bitter, I think Adam may be better for going through this, I think we may be better, but I think the thought that this has innate meaning is bullshit. We make our own meaning. And I don't think this was in some creator's plan. It is what it is.....as the current favorite saying goes. No reason. This accident gives us, Adam, a chance to respond gracefully, or not, or some where between gracefulness and desperation. That's where I have been. Some times I have tricked myself into thinking that even your own kid's chemo can become routine. And at times it has on the surface. Work has been busy, I have not been able to attend all the appointments, sometimes at work I can even forget for a moment that I have a sick kid. But as soon as I let it come back I am scared shitless and crying. I have put a positive spin on Adam's handling of this, a reframe if you will, of his indurance of treatment. He has been a champion. But he is only human. Fragile and human. We are on track I think but being on track means that we can always be knocked off track.

What does it all mean?