man makes plans, god laughs

Adam and Camille both went to their respective school orientations yesterday. Adam's was the same as last year. A quick tour and run down of the classes, and a talk by the principal. Camille's was a 'popsicle' social. She was cautious and clingy at first but warmed up after a while. Both start school on Monday.

I told Martha that I was very happy we were about to get back into a school schedule. Martha reacted appropriately. "You think you're happy..." Oops, I had momentarily forgot that it has been Martha dealing with Adam and Camille all summer. She has stayed home with them, missing work, or worse, taken them to work with her....missing work. And believe me, these two together can drive you nuts. Martha has done just about all of it. Taken Adam to weekly chemo and daily radiation. Dealt with all the day-in and day-out tasks. What she has done is really incalculable and she has never complained and she has not made me feel guilty for not being as involved as I would have liked. I guess I owe her dinner....or something :)

Adam would normally have been involved in camp, going to stay with grand parents and this summer just plain hanging out in the 'hood. But that's not what fate/god/creation had planned. The summer has not been as awful as it could have been to be sure. If you ask Adam he will glibly say he has had fun...but given a chance to think about it and a much different response will arise.

My own hopes for Monday are probably naive: the re-start of regular life. But the universe is likely to laugh at that one. The big cosmic HA! Adam still has a ways to go, even after treatment ends. More imaging, more check-ups, the eventual removal of his port-o-cath. Putting Adam back into school now is our choice and we have received some advice to the contrary. Adam's social worker suggested that he may still be too easily fatigued and not ready. Obviously we disagree. Our thinking goes something like this. Yes Adam is easily fatigued and that may have some effects on his performance. But, and this is a big 'but', we think the opportunity to get Adam back with his friends and in an intellectually stimulating environment is worth the risk. We've done our best to keep life normal during cancer treatment but that is actually impossible. Getting back into the school life (he's been out since March) will not only help Adam but Martha and me too. We could be wrong. Who knows, we may have to pull Adam out of school again. He may perform poorly academically....but I doubt it. I think it's the right decision.

I know he thinks so.